Mr. Photographer, I Think I'm Ready For My Close-Up

As an Americana, I don't think there's anything that could make you feel more like a movie star than walking through a mall in the Philippines. My Goodness! Walking around, everyone, and I mean EVERYONE is watching you in wonderment. The salespeople come rushing up to you with big smiles on their faces saying "Hello Maam! Oh you're so beautiful! So pretty! Hello Maam! Hello Maam!" According to the current PCV's, Maam and Sir are what Filipinos address anyone if they have great respect for them. And everywhere we walked, it was "Hello Maam!" It was wild. And when they could help you find something, it was like they won the lottery.

I was checking out at one of the stores, and the total was 173.25 (Philipine pesos) and I start counting out my cash, and she asked if I had 25 cents and I said "I have no idea! Can you help me?" I spread all my coins out on the counter and she started giving me a currency lesson, showing me that yes, I did indeed have 25 cents. At one point I said "You are a great teacher!" and I think she may have peed her pants. She turned to all of the other cashiers and was like, "She said I'm a good teacher! Thank you, Maam!" Hahaha she genuinely WAS a big help, and I thought she'd like a compliment. Later on my friend and I were casually looking at some hair accessories and a saleswoman came up to us, smiling, said "Hello Maam!" and proceeded to just linger as we slowly walked around. She was just gazing...

This wasn't the only reaction though. We were in line at the grocery store (yes, in the mall) and a little girl-- she might not have even been 2 years old-- saw me. I smiled and waved, and a look of shock and horror came over her face and she started frantically wiping the sides of her face, I'm assuming to make sure all of our faces didn't just lose pigmentation. I looked up and her mother and grandmother were smiling at me, and laughing at the little one. So cute.

This was really interesting to me, though. Earlier that day we had a training session about diversity. I've sat through a fair number of diversity seminars throughout my college career, but this one really stuck with me. As a debriefing at the end, they gave us a paper entitled "List of White Privileges." It was a research project done by a professor at Wellesley College in the '80s, and I just found it extremely insightful. After my mall experience, one of these "privileges" really hit me. #1: "I can if I wish arrange to be in the company of people of my race most of the time." If it wasn't for the other PCV's, I would have been the only white person in the entire mall. I was really looking out for others, but with no success. It was such a powerful moment when I realized this, because for the first time in my life I felt like a 100% COMPLETE outsider. Yes, everyone was beyond friendly, but I was still absolutely out of place. Even through all of my European travels, I could always find people that looked like me. Not here. This was a significant realization. In school we are taught about diversity and what it's like to be a non-white American. And of course there's no way I could ever know what it's really, truly like to grow up as a minority in my own country, but last night was a little bleep in time that I felt what it's like to stick out in a crowd. It was a real learning moment for me.

Anyways that was my wild night at the mall :) Time for some zzzzzz's...